Last night I watched Mike White’s hilarious and bizarrely somber 2007 comedy “Year of the Dog” and besides finding myself loving the character Molly Shannon perfected in “Peggy” I also found myself really digging the names of the various dogs (“Pencil” and “Valentine,” to name two) that she interacted with throughout the film. In recent years dog names have trended more towards cutesy names people would otherwise give their kids.
Working in the dog-care field I’ve met thousands of dogs and cats and I can say I rarely hear a name that’s incredibly original. Sure Ella, Stella and Bella are cute names but they’ve become so common in the pet world that nothing stands out. I recall meeting a dog several years back named “Iggy Von Bacon Bits III” and to this day I remember him quite well. I recall a time when people used to pick a name that fit the personality of their pet or fit his or her look.
According to some of my internet research these are
the most popular dog names of 2015
Female: Bella, Lucy, Daisy, Molly, Lola, Sophie, Sadie, Maggie, Chloe, Bailey
Male: Max, Buddy, Charlie, Jack, Cooper, Rocky, Toby, Tucker, Jake, Bear
Those names are all adorable and I can think of several dogs and cats (past pets of my own included) that had names from those lists.
Still I can’t help but wonder how much more fun everything would be if people gave their pets names that were a little more exciting or absurd. Imagine strolling along the streets of the Upper East Side of Manhattan and hearing someone call out “Oompa Loompa! Stop licking the pavement!”
I’m going to compile my own list of fun dog names I’d like to see given to animals soon. These names are gender neutral because gender roles are absurd. Imagine your male or female future pet with any of the following names and see the potential for fun and hilarity. I’ll refrain from explaining why these names are, in general, the best possible names for your dog or cat and leave it ambiguous. It’s just funnier that way.
Fun Dog Names
1. “Hilaryswank” (yes, one word)
3. “Sigourneyweaver” (again, one word) (also will accept “Zuul” or “Ripley” and since he’s pictured “billmurray”)
7. “Hashtag” or “#”
9. “DoloresVanCartier” (will also accept “OdaMaeBrown,” each one word)
10. “Idon’tbelieveinfairies” (one word)
12. “Cottonweary” (or “Galeweathers” — one word)
13. “Cat Stevens” (for a Dog only. For your cat = “Dog, The Bounty Hunter”)
14. “Selfie” (let’s be honest, this is a much better cat name)
15. “Wife,” “Husband” or “Life Partner” (cause let’s be honest… for some of us this is looking likely)
17. “Coffee_Bean” (with underscore)
19. “Walter White” or “Jesse Pinkman” or “Nancy Botwin” “Don Draper” “Tony Soprano” (really any modern TV anti-hero fits well in here)
20. “Dirty Martini” “Scotch” “Whiskey” (any drink of choice would make an excellent dog name)
The reality is you can name your pet just about anything you want. With a world of choices let’s expand this spectrum a bit more and encourage more creativity and try to think more outside the box. I’m naming my next pet “dotcom.com” (intentional use of double .com)